Thursday, February 16, 2006

Damn Hormones or Making Peace with Morning Sickness

I'm reasonably certain that you could ask anyone who has ever had a passing acquaintance with me and be assured that I have never run consistently on time in my life. Unfortunately, my hormones weren't informed of this.

Every Friday morning, I get my pregnancy newsletter. As I read, I can count on my body to be precisely 1 day ahead of schedule. When I was told I might be experiencing skin breakouts or dry skin, my body upped the anty. I conveniently broke out on my chin and forehead while also experiencing a puzzling dry skin issue within MILLIMETERS of the oily patches. When did this happen? Thursday.

When my pregnancy email said that I may begin experiencing morning sickness, I had started the day before.

I decided to start looking ahead.

I noticed that the next couple of weeks were generally marked by peak morning sickness as my something levels spike during the 8th and 9th weeks (let's not even venture into the "are they talking about when you are IN your 8th week or when you've completed your 8th week" controversy). While I had noticed a definite up-tick in frantic calls to my husband for "Ginger tea- NOW, please." I really thought this was still totally do-able. I simply had to not let myself get hungry. I had a lovely, philosophical attitude toward the whole matter. Morning sickness was a marvelous evolutionary tool that would ensure that I didn't eat something that would harm myself or my baby. My heightened sense of smell would have been quite handy, pre-refrigeration. I had weathered the last 2 weeks of nausea, I could totally handle this. Notice that today is Thursday... Notice the cries of "This sucks," emanating from the house... Notice Becky contemplating pretzels with great suspicion...

I have high hopes that sometime in the next day or so I will manage to get philosophical about how clever my body is to protect me from eating rancid meat. It's clever, I tell you, clever and exceedingly enthusiastic about keeping me far, far, away from anything that may have ever had a passing acquaintance with any sort of nasty organism. It's keeping me from sensible things like any source of protein, any type of any meat cooked in any manner, fruits, vegetables, suspicious looking crackers, and some beverages, like milk! Isn't my body great!

Now, I just have to figure out how I'm ever going to finalize the menu for the 2nd, aforementioned, luncheon. Happily, it should take place well out of the range of morning sickness. I have been too afraid to look ahead to find out what wonder I may experiencing then.

No comments: