Monday, November 19, 2007


It really seems like about once every 2-3 months Charlie completely forgets how to sleep and we spend several days in sleep hell. Is it too late to decide that instead of being a Mommy, I'd rather be the cool Aunt?

Sunday, November 18, 2007

Me Time

We are encouraging Charlie to stop worrying so much about the impeding tasks of the day and to instead indulge himself. We would like him to take some time out for Charlie where he can just please himself. Naturally, the best time to do this would be from 5:30-6:30 am. We feel he needs to take a step back from the bustle of the start of the day rush and just breathe. I have offered to take on his chores for him so he can really just relax. I told him that I would handle spreading the puzzle pieces around for maximum distribution, taking all the dirty laundry out of the basket and replacing it with clean burp rags and pulling all the books from his shelves. We have assured him that we understand that it's important to get in touch with your morning Charkra and to become one with the sun. So far, we have met with little success. Charlie seems to just give and give and just can't take a step back. He feels such a strong drive to visit with us and ensure our happiness and access to animal crackers and o's. He needs to give cuddles and hugs and remind us where our belly buttons are. He doesn't want us to miss a moment of each precious sunrise. What treasure!

Sunday, November 11, 2007

Day Dreaming

Charlie has a cold which means more time in the rocker and more time to just sit and think. It's sort of nice to do occasionally and I've started to be able to see why people talk about the wonders of rocking a sleeping baby. I have to say that when I was rocking a sleeping baby for hours on end every day while desperately needing to sleep, eat, and pee, the romance was rather lost. Anyway, I started think about where I would like to live and as always, my thoughts turned to Maine. I have this idealized vision of it from trips taken throughout my childhood. In the summer it was this delightfully cool oasis where you could run around outside even in August. I could walk to the beach and sit on the dock or walk to the corner store and get a coke and pretzel rod all by myself. The air smelled exotic and comforting at the same time. A wonderful blend of evergreens and a sweet grass and meadow smell. We could go to LL Bean and examine the stream, sit in the tent, and find a small treasure to take home. Sometimes we would drive the rest of the way 'up' and go visit Canada or visit relatives who lived in areas so remote, it was rather unfathomable.

When we talk about where my husband should look for a job next, I always bring up Maine or Vermont or New Hampshire but there is little there to draw him professionally however much he might like it personally. I think some of my longing is also a means of putting my head in the sand regarding climate change. While the seasons are also 'off' in the North East, coming from warmer climes, it probably won't seem quite as jarring as wearing short sleeves well into October did here. I worry rather frequently these days about what sort of world Charlie will find as he grows up and never really feel I am doing enough. I struggle with how many children we should really have if we are being ecologically responsible. We have really slacked on the reusable bags since I have been in the quagmire of early pregnancy. We are switching our bulbs to florescent as the incandescents burn out, drive a hybrid car, and try to vote for the green candidate. At the same time, I know that all of this is such a minor drop in the bucket. I still use my dryer regularly. We also drive a minivan. We don't live in a walking friendly community and as such, drive more than I would like. We use air conditioning and turned the heater back up to 71' after Charlie was born. I feel like we, as a society, may be on the cusp of change and I am hoping that it happens soon enough that we won't have to move to Maine just so Charlie can see what snow is.

Wednesday, November 07, 2007

Give Rice A Chance

You're pretty SMRT! Go prove it and get rice to people who need it here:

I hit level 43. Can you beat the sleepy pregnant woman?

Tuesday, November 06, 2007

I think I might be a bitch...

or, at least quite assertive. I belong to a pregnancy message board where I keep reading about these women who have husbands that want to go off for ages doing all sorts of things- watch football games, go hunting, skateboarding, etc, etc. While that by itself isn't a huge deal, I'm always taken aback by the rest of the story. The dad's are also working long hours, often nights and weekends, the wife is pregnant with a tiny one already, this is the 3rd time this month, this was the 1st time they were to see their child awake in a week, and so on. I'm of the opinion that I don't really care what my husband wants to do outside of family obligations, he helped make this family so he can help care for it. This doesn't mean that he doesn't do things he enjoys or that I don't, for that matter, although we could both use a little more time to devote to them. I very much understand the importance of taking time for yourself. But, when you go into parenthood it should be with the implicit understanding that sometimes it will suck. You will have to miss sleep and outings with friends and hobbies may take a beating. It also comes with the understanding that just because I'm The Mommy, I'm not the default caregiver and I'm certainly not the default caregiver of my husband. These men are demanding special meals at special times while the mom is trying to juggle a crying baby's needs and morning sickness. My husband has been offered anything he would like to eat over the last month or two, as long as he fixed it. When he travels a lot, if I don't get to the laundry and he needs a clean shirt or whatever for his next trip, he knows he can do a load himself. When he started getting very martyred about the extra work he's being taking on while I was in the 'must sleep now' stage of pregnancy, I told him to grow up and get some perspective. I was quite effusive with my appreciative praise but I also wasn't going to cry him a river over 6 loads of laundry and 4 grocery runs over a 4 week period. I just lost some of my ability to pity when I reached my 3rd really nasty diaper of the day, requiring me to have a puke bag out and ready to go before even taking off Charlie's onsie. My husband does help more than some but less than others. I find it hard to not feel guilty about the whole thing though when I hear about these women slogging through motherhood, in effect, on their own and I can't decide if I'm just a demanding bitch or they're push-overs or if it's all some fuzzy thing in the middle. I'm so glad that Mommy-guilt can manage to creep into every aspect of your life...

Sunday, November 04, 2007

Cute but Yucky

Charlie has started trying to give me kisses, at least, I think that's what he's doing. They involve pulling my face down and putting his open mouth on various parts of my face. The thought is very cute but I always have a burning desire to wash my face right after- particularly when he has just finished eating his snack.


So, in one of the abrupt turns typical of pregnancy I have gone from shunning all food 20 minutes ago to being willing to commit a felony for some shrimp cocktail. Oh, if only I had a kitchen staff or cabana boy to do my bidding...