Super Mommy

So, since the end of July...

Megan and Charlie both started "school." Charlie is in preschool twice a week and Megan is in Mother's Day Out. Both are reasonably content with Charlie hitting the milestone of crying one morning when I had to break it to him that it wasn't actually a school day. I've been having to try to remember that they will be doing this twice a week for quite some time so I don't actually have to try to cram every single project I've been putting off since Megan's birth into one Tuesday morning. Working yourself into a productive frenzy has fabulous effects on piles of clutter and ridiculously messy floors but is sadly less than restorative.

I'm the membership co-ordinator for my MOPS group which resulted in quite the flurry of activity for the last couple of months but that seems to finally be settling down by virtue of the fact that we are at membership capacity.

We are currently trying for baby 3. If you are struggling with infertility skip the rest of this paragraph as it will make you mildly homicidal. Hem... Anyway, with both Megan and Charlie we went with the assumption that it would surely take more than one round to pull off the miracle which is conception resulting in a living, breathing, bouncing baby. We were wrong both times hence Charlie was NOT a Halloween baby (early September, in fact) and Megan had a very high likelyhood of being born during finals week (happily Megan decided to bake a bit longer than Charlie and missed both finals and graduation). This time we decided that it was really time to just go with the assumption that it will probably happen the first round and to plan accordingly. Did you just hear Fate guffaw? We've had a swing and a miss. Hopefully, good news will come my way soon because I have an irrational determination to not have a baby in August. In fact the experience is really beginning to make me think that there is something to the idea that God opens and closes the womb. By rights, there is no way Megan should have been procured when she was and Charlie was statistically rather improbable. This baby should have been a slam dunk but wasn't. Life is an odd alchemy, isn't it?

On to the point...

The part about motherhood that I find to be a complete trip is the way that I developed superhuman powers simply by making it through the 3rd grade. I can cut with scissors, read Dr Suess, and zip jackets. I know all the words to Row, Row, Your Boat and can count to 20 with 1:1 correspondence. I can reach the paper towel dispenser in all the bathrooms and am not afraid of the hand dryer- even the really loud, ridiculously powerful one at Target. I keep my underwear dry all the time and always go in the potty! I can find the missing baby and build towers 10 blocks high. I am incredible! I'm just hoping this last for a few more years because I love being able to fix it all with a hug and tape and a kiss.

Ponderings

Becky;

a- wonders if Mr. Obama is aware of how much energy my children expend resisting sleep and wonders if he is looking into a way to harness it as a renewable resource

b- wishes Megan had taken her morning nap

c- emphatically decides that there will be NO MORE CHILDREN and then Charlie begins discussing the caterpickles and Megan starts dancing using the only move she knows- the wiper motion from the Wheels on the Bus- to Mary Had Little Lamb and both give kisses and I wonder how we will ever manage to cut ourselves off

d- hopes Doctor #11 is as hot and adorable as Doctor #10

e- wonders where Megan picked up the Maine accent- "Oh, Dea-ah," indeed

f- is convinced that people's clothing must have been perpetually damp and the towels perpetually questionable in the summer in Virginia before dryers and is beginning to seriously question if the Earth might not want saving and is in fact having a go at Hiri Kiri

g- still really wishes Megan had taken her morning nap

h- wishes her house was cleaning itself- she suspects that those who have had this particular FlyLady experience don't have 2 young children

The Clothes Line

I've been trying to line dry our clothing since it started getting warm. Of course, I was quite frustrated by the long string of cool, cloudy and rainy days which were interspersed with extreme humidity- apparently, it doesn't matter how sunny it looks, nothing gets dry with 80% humidity. I am at a complete loss as to how a vast majority of the world ever managed to wear anything both dry and clean throughout history as one or the other is apparently quite elusive a great bit of the time.

I'm hoping for some tangible benefits such as the children's clothing making it longer without stains since they will be in the sun and the stains won't be set by the dryer but I don't have high hopes. I will have to satisfy myself with the mild sense of superiority I get or at least the hope that this evens out some of my vast car related carbon footprint- having a little boy who asks each and every day, "Mama, what we can go today?" sets the bar a bit high for those hoping to consolidate errands...

It is rather nice to have 10 minutes or so to simply enjoy being outside and the luxury of knowing something will be done for you (evaporation of water) while you work on other important tasks (such as getting yet another bagel out for my littlest carb fiend). I tend to hang the laundry during rest time while Megan naps and Charlie watches a show (it just got to be too much to try to get him to stay in his bed so we go with a very early bed time and some tv downtime during the day- while tv is not ideal, it does get us both through the day). So, it's often a bit of time to reflect on the day and think random thoughts. The thing that keeps occurring to me is just how much you can divine from the clothes line.

You can see exactly how Charlie's potty training is going; how Megan is sleeping (when it gets bad, things mostly go in the dryer); how Megan is napping (did I get out 1 load or 2?); that I never manage to wash Megan's sheets since the only time I get to strip beds is when she's sleeping on said sheets; that I, apparently, have no racy clothing- in fact, I apparently never wear underthings (actually, I just dry all undies inside); and when my husband is out of town. In fact, I can only imagine what a blow the dryer was to the community gossips.

The Power of Polish

I had thought that liking to have polished toenails was a personal quirk but after a discussion at a book club, I began to see the power of polish. We were talking about make-up. Some of us, like me, have a vague desire to wear a little something. Just enough to indicate that we are still worth it, damn it. We may be wearing the capris we dug out of the clothes bin, have sippy cups leaking in our purses and been slowly crossing the line from, hmmm, I need to shave to perhaps I'll just wear pants this summer. But, we're still worth the 5 seconds it takes to swipe the lipstick across our mouths or use a touch of eye liner. There is a particle, somewhere, that is still woman, not Mommy, and belongs to us. Somehow, eeking out those extra 5 seconds of "me" time just doesn't happen. For my part, a great deal of it is habit. The last time I regularly applied make-up was high school and it' just not part of my routine anymore. Those extra 30 second in the shower are just too luscious to pass up (not to mention the extra 2 minutes I spent trying to get OUT of the warm, comfy, non-whining bed and motivated to get IN said shower). However, there seems to be one last bastion of beauty- your toe nails.

Most notably, the hard-line feminists would be so proud. A great deal of the time we paint our toes just for us. In the fall and winter and a good chunk of the rainy spring, our toes are safely enshrined in sensible shoes and warm socks. No one will see the shocking magenta, trendy brown, or sex-on-a-stick red. The plus, of course, is that not only are our toes chilblain free, the socks make it so they only need real attention every few weeks. Even the most hassled mother can manage 20 minutes every 3 weeks or so, especially since waiting for your nails to dry is The Perfect excuse to sit and whatever- read, watch tv, write a blog post...

Of course, the summer brings open toes and more frequent maintenance but is there anything quite as luscious as sitting outside, listening to birds, watching the grass grow and waiting for paint to dry as your husband corrals the children? Why not do it once every week or so?

One of the things I was happiest about with my pregnancies was that I was always able to manage to paint my toes. It required some odd contortions- near the end, I would sit in the glider, prop my foot on the footrest and rock myself forward to manage each swipe of the brush.

My toes are pink and are pink just for me. I am worth 20 minutes every 2 weeks.

Becky's Helpful Houshold Hints

1- 1/2 cup vinegar, 10 drops of tea tree oil and 15 drops of grapefruit seed extract will kill the stuff in your shower (but not bleach the mildew stains- sorry!)

2- 1 cup of vinegar in your rinse cycle will keep your clothes static free- nope they won't smell like vinegar when they dry. Added bonus- it won't effect the flame retardants in your children's clothing and has antifungal and antibacterial properties so, good-bye thrush!

3- Always have a snackbox in your purse. Charlie's has cheerios, goldfish, some sort of cracker and a box of raisins. Megan's has puffs and cheerios. I also keep 2 extra boxes of raisins, a lollipop, a battery operated toy phone, and a vibrating teether stashed in my purse- this can see us through just about anything.

4- If at all possible, get to stores by 9 am (or when they open, if later) and plan to leave by 11:30. There will be plenty of help available, short lines, and you'll get the best pick of the mark-downs. You'll get in and out in no time. Your children's behavior will also, magically, be about 300% better than if you tried to do the same errands at 4.

5- Use your used dryer sheets to dust baseboards and windowsills. The residual anti-static stuff will help them stay dust-free longer.

6- A Roomba is the best Mother's Day gift evah!

7- Always bring along a (re-useable) bottle of water for yourself and cups for the kids. Being thirsty just makes everything worse.

8- Rice/Corn cakes make the perfect car snack for little ones. They are big enough to a- keep them happy for a while and to b- easy for little hands to grab when you are trying to pass them back while driving. They also keep fairly indefinitely, aren't sticky and are reasonably food allergy safe.

9- Always keep trail mix in the car for you- The tex-mex one from Target that comes in the tub is my favorite.

Books- a cuteness vignette!

Megan has had a slightly more than passing interest in books for a while now. Of note was the Feely Bugs book we got from the library a month or so back. It was a big hit and I can't recommend it enough for the tactile set. Although, a good bit of monitoring is needed since the feathers will come off (as we discovered).

Megan has also (to our shock) started talking in the last couple of weeks. "Apple" is her most intelligible word with a "ma" constellation that can me more, mama (maybe), or banana depending on slight variances in inflection. "Hold you," "uh-oh," "kisses," and "woof woof" also make appearances. We also now have a "ba" constellation. She had been pretty solid on "ball" but today she added "book" to what we have to figure out based on gesture and inflection. It was the first instance that I really got to see the "aha" moment for her.

This afternoon I threw caution to the winds and decided to try to read a bit of Multiple Blessings while the children played. Megan, of course, wanted to see the book so I gave her a touch and feel book to look at. As we explored the pages, I repeatedly said "book." She enjoyed it and started saying "bo" so I pulled another touch and feel off the shelf and said "book" as we explored again.

This evening, Charlie was a hair shy of narcolepsy so bath was early. When Megan and I went downstairs to nurse she was not as sleepy as usual and noticed the books on the endtable saying "bo." So, we looked at the books. Being the neglected second child, we haven't done well with a book at bedtime but this seemed a fine time to start. After a thrilling few minutes with the fuzzy duckling and soft calf Megan started to squirm saying "bo." I let her down and she promptly went over to the bookshelf and started excited pulling books down saying "bo" inquiringly. After being assured that these were, in fact books, even the softcover one and the one made of cloth, she proudly carried one after another to me, climbing into my lap and examining them, occasionally kissing the book just for good measure.

If there was ever a doubt, Megan is definitely her mother's daughter. I can't wait to introduce her to all my favorites!

Seasons

My house is not quite as much a mess as it was but still very much a work in progress. My cardmaking supplies haven't been touched in months. My blog is neglected. My book reading rate is surprisingly robust. My husband has been waiting for me to hem a curtain for the better part of a year. Penny desperately needs to be brushed.

My children are intensely needy right now. Neither can handle any bodily function unaided. Charlie can generally get unclothed well enough to pee-pee in the potty but re-dressing can be challenging. They need me to feed them, help them fall asleep, keep them clean, keep them rested, and provide balance to their lives. Their father and I are their Alpha and Omega. This is my current season. This season is about learning to serve others, most always. This is a humble season. This is an uncertain season. This season is fleeting, so I am told, but feels quite long.

The idea of seasons in life is sustaining me. I am not biblical enough to repeat the pertinent passages to myself (Ecclesiastes 3. 1-8), instead I take the secular route, humming the Simon and Garfunkle song periodically. Remembering that just as summer lounging follows the vigorous activity of a spring joyfully met, so will a slightly less intense period follow this one. There will come a day of no more diapers, sleeping through the night, quiet mornings when all the little people are at school, and a lunch eaten, sitting, the whole way through. There will come a season when I can devote more thoughtful attention to my children, when I will have slept well enough to form a coherent sentence and contrive clever projects for them. There will come a season when I can introduce them to Anne Shirley, Harry Potter, and Nick and Nora. There will come a time when I don't thank God that they are so cute and have so much biological drive behind their care because, Good Heavens, Megan was up for 2 hours last night and I just don't know how much longer I can do this. There will come a day when, instead of experiencing them, I will be remembering the firsts and the sweetness and the cuddles and the giggles. It will be a season for new firsts, new uncertainties, new causes for sleepless nights.