Oh, baby...

First, in an unrelated note... This is the slogan on my Cracker Barrel fudge box: "Plow into pleasure." Does anyone else find this to be an odd wording or have I just been spending too much time with the Smart Bitches?

Second, my husband and I are starting to seriously consider attempting to start the process for having another baby sometime in the very near future. This has me completely thrilled and terrified at the same time. I had such horrible morning sickness with Charlie and I had assumed that I would just take the medicine this time if I had trouble but all the meds are incompatible with breast feeding. I hadn't really planned on breastfeeding indefinitely and I think I should be able to make my 1 year goal irrespective of anything else but it does make life so much easier with Charlie. He has so much trouble winding down for sleep (and, yes, that is starting to improve- more later) that a little booby time is the simplest solution. We've worked hard to keep him from only knowing how to go to sleep through nursing but, especially when my husband is out of town, it is sometimes the one thing keeping us mildly sane. Also, Charlie loves the booby. We've dropped most of the easy feedings at this point and the rest will be a real wrench. I still don't find it a transcendental experience but there is something very "motherly" about it and it is such an easy way for mommy to make it better. Weaning will be harder on me than I expected.

The whole out of town thing is quite worrisome as well. My husband tends to travel at least several days every month. We're able to get some sitters and my mom sometimes comes down or we go up to them for the longer trips but I am often at the edge of endurance by the time he gets home if I'm solo now. I can only imagine what it will be like when I'm hormonal and exhausted or when we have 2.

At the same time, Charlie is an intensely social fellow and I think he'll be thrilled at having a sibling. We both think it would be nice to swoop through the intense, babyhood time instead of stretching it. We think we would like to have several children and I would like to be done with pregnancy by 35 or so and I'm 30 now. That isn't a huge time crunch but it does make you aware of where you are. The idea of being pregnant while Charlie is still taking naps is also a big thing. I know he won't hold on to them for too long so, sooner is better than later from that regard. It also seems like it would be nice if we had the next one before Charlie really got used to the single life. And, we're sort of going at it with the assumption that, saving some sort of major medical problem, it would be hard to have a more difficult baby. Charlie has many, many good points but he is, by far, the most difficult sleeper I have ever heard of, save Patrick. My husband commented that at least with colic we would know it would be done in 3 months or so and I have to agree. And, even if we have a child as difficult as Charlie, we have at least gotten 1 to practice on and now have at least 7 sleep books under our belt and I have that whole master's degree that covered everything about babies except sleep so... Of course, we could have a good sleeper who is exceedingly cranky and not nearly so cute and then I would, perhaps, second guess my assumptions, but at least I would be well rested and, as Dr. Sears says, you can handle just about anything during the day if you can just get some sleep at night. Finally, we've noticed that most everyone seems quite pleased with how they spaced their babies with the occasional exception of people who really, really weren't planning to have a baby just then. So, it seems that no matter what we decide, we will likely think we were completely correct in hindsight.

Also, we had said that we would approach this with a not preventing sort of mindset. So, there will be no "command performances." At the same time, I'm temperature charting for a couple of rather unrelated reasons. First, I like to know what's going on with my body. Second, you usually have a milk production dip around the time of ovulation and it's useful to know that's going on. However, with the charting, you rather lose the whole mystery of which days might be optimal so, it feels like we're doing rather more than just not preventing pregnancy but rather less than "trying to conceive" which is leaving me a bit flustered. I'm a bit of a planner and I was ok with the whole "let's see what happens" but I have way too much information to really pretend I don't know if this is a "just for fun" evening or not. Now that you know much more than you ever wanted about my life...

Does anyone have any input?

Housekeeping Question

So, I like to wash my kitchen linens and bath linens together with a nice dollop of bleach. However, that means that it takes a few days to accumulate a load. What do you do with dirty washrags from the kitchen while you wait for the wash? I don't want to mix them in with other things due to mildew concerns.

A return to journalistic integrity...

Or a stunt?

Mika Brezezinski refuses to read Paris Hilton story.

I totally admire her but I'm not loving the guys. Is it just me or is their tone patronizing?

Better than Baby Einstein

Charlie just sat happily in his high chair for 10 minutes while I washed the windows (I have a minor obsession at the moment...) and watched our Roomba clean the kitchen floors.

Conundrums...

Have you ever just wanted to say: "Has this ever worked? Has flailing yourself about, screaming, and crying EVER gotten you out of wearing clothes, having your diaper changed, or getting in your car seat? In fact, this just makes it take longer!" Why couldn't I have had a Vulcan?

Also, if you have bought the 4 pack of TODDLER wheeled items, do they really think you have the time to free each of the 16 wheels from plastic doodad, twist tie, and individual impenetrable fortress? If they can't withstand shipping without all this, I am beginning to doubt if they can withstand the attentions of Charlie.

Zounds! A non-baby post!

So, Charlie and I listen to Morning Edition during our start of the day activities. My husband came back in for something he had forgotten the other day and was startled to be greeted by a loud "bull shit" from me. He astutely figure out that I was actually conversing with the radio. I have yet to figure out if this ranks above or below conversations with the dogs. I miss the days when I could converse with my belly... Anyway, US automakers are claiming that they can't possibly make cars all that much more efficient because US consumers don't really want efficient cars. There is more to it but, might I say, that I totally would have bought a Yugo minivan if it had gotten 40 MPG. As it is, we went with the Odyssey, in large part, because half the pistons shut down when you hit a cruising speed and fuel economy goes up. The story is here. These are the times that I begin to really see why protectionism really wasn't the way to go.

Useful links...

Baby Cheap Skate looks out for good bargains on baby stuff- particularly diapers. She focuses on Atlanta but has some good tips in general.

Pandora Radio will generate playlists and stream your own radio station for free based on a song or artist preference that you tell it. It's made putting away the laundry rather pleasant.

On the move...

Charlie has reached the point where he is constantly frustrated. He desperately wants to walk but can't quite pull it off. So, he cruises about until he gets "stuck." He reaches the end of one cruising item but can't reach his next destination and cries because he is now much too good for crawling. I have spent the last few days feeling little hands wrap themselves around my calves, loaning my hands and arms as suitable walking aids, and administering hugs and cuddles liberally as it all gets to be too much. I am waiting for walking with mixed feelings. I am hoping that it will offer a bit of reprieve of sorts, like when he started crawling. We had several weeks where I could use my computer, do dishes, etc, as he poked around. It will be nice to have a constantly frustrated, regularly wailing child but it is sure to be a challenge to have him even more mobile than before. His father and I are frantically babyproofing. Cabinets are getting anchored, clutter is getting cleared, china is being put up. We also bought a wire crate for Shirley to use in the family room. She was having a great deal of trouble with evading Charlie while also napping so, we're in the process of teaching her that her crate is a refuge. She's starting to get the idea but it can't happen soon enough for me.

Charlie is also developing quite the will. Never a child to go quietly into the night, he has taken it to new levels in the last week which don't bode well. Today there was a 5 minute screaming fit involving a red face and crocodile tears after he was cruelly interrupted in his pursuit of removing an outlet cover.

In cute news, Charlie has also started really making a go at consonants. In the last week my ears have been showered with "ma" and "ba" (although no da, which is supposed to come first- our little non-conformist- I'm so proud!). While "mama" has absolutely no meaning yet, it warms my heart every time I hear it and Charlie delights in hearing me echo "mama, that's me!" in a delighted tone.

Nesting Part 2...

So, I seem to be going through some sort of second round of nesting. I have an insane desire to see all our windows sparkle and all the projects that I started pre-unexpectedly early baby to be completed. I think it's because Charlie is totally on the move at this point. He's got a solid crawl and is worryingly close to walking. I have taken to examining our floors from a "gee, what could I put in my mouth" perspective and it is alarming. However, I figure that you really only have to do a whole house re-organization and baby proofing once and then it's mostly maintenance. Also, I have taken to watching How Clean is Your House and the show that used to be Flip That House (the one on TLC instead of A+E). While the cleaning show makes me feel much better about the state of my house in some regards, seeing women so completely fired up about cleaning and then seeing the fabulousness that follows is quite motivating to the reluctant duster. Watching Flip That House has brought home to me just how much we'll probably need to do when we want to sell the house. They're all things that we've been wanting to do but haven't been able to because we had to replace (I kid you not) the washer, dryer, heat pump, dishwasher, and water heater and install new duct work (the previous system had the cold air return at the highest point in house- do you need to know anything else?), hook into the water main, do a very necessary bathroom remodel to turn the 1 completely dysfunctional bath into 2 bathrooms, and add a closet to the master bed room, which was inexplicably lacking one. All of this has taken oodles of time and scads of money. While the house was a very good buy and we still stand to make at least some profit on it, I'm not sure we would buy it again. So, I have suddenly gotten completely sick of feeling like we were still moving in. I want to sort things out and I want to do it right now.

chipmunks

I think I may have just witnessed chipmunk nookie...

A bevy of thoughts and opinions...

Charlie is now of an age where he can amuse himself for a while. However, this is only really possible in his nursery. He isn't old enough to just hang in the nursery by himself. The number of productive tasks you can accomplish in the nursery is, somewhat unsurprisingly, low. Hence, I am becoming rather enthralled by chrysalis.

When I become mistakenly optimistic about the world I try to do crazy things, like pick things up, whatever I have in my hand becomes far better than the big pink ball and I am then stuck prying things out of Charlie's hands and mouth (now with three teeth!).

Will Charlie ever reach a point when he isn't teething?

How is it that I have been back at pre-baby weight (actually a bit below) and in pre-baby clothing for months but I still have more tummy than I started with? Is this fair? Can't I get points for effort?

We have 2 dogs. One dog is enthralled by Charlie a hunk of the time and would love to play. When she is done with Charlie she intelligently leaves the room. The other dog would really rather Charlie leave her alone but has yet to figure out she can totally run faster than him. Which dog do you think Charlie would like to have as his bff?

Tissue Paper

I just glanced up, realized my child was eating tissue paper, and decided that since it was white and wouldn't stain anything, I was ok with it until I could finish reading the America's Next Top Model recap (when I took the rest of the paper away and gave him a nice, edible rice cake instead- I'm not completely slacking...)

Pulling Up

Charlie is working on learning to pull-up. I need to rent 2 padded rooms- one for Charlie with many benches, just right for cruising and one for me with a fully stocked bar...

Make Shane's Day

So, there's a little boy in Ontario who is struggling with acute lymphoblastic leukemia. He has a birthday coming up and his wish is to break the world's record for most birthday cards recieved. His birthday is on May 29th. Go ahead and send him a card!

Shane Bernier
PO Box 484
Lancaster, Ontario
K0C 1N0
Canada

I scoff in your food safe Lysol spray's general direction..."

So, this article, posted at News On the Fly has made me completely question if there is any point to making any sort of effort in the area of cleaning Charlie's toys. These bacteria survive airless, waterless, radioactive, nasty, nasty environments. Is my spritzing and dishwashing really doing anything? Should I just skip it and pour me a nice glass of tea instead?

There's something about Vikings...

So, I am totally devouring the Sookie Stackhouse vampire mystery series. The steamy scenes are just right- enough to get you thinking but not enough to get you thinking logistics. The world building is blended with the story nicely so you never feel lost but you also don't feel like the exposition fairy has just wandered by either. The back story from previous novels is helpful but not vital so you can read them in whatever order you can get them from the library. Also, this may be the single best way to get a Viking into a romance novel ever. Eric is a Viking vampire who has made his way through the ages into the modern world so you get the "Oooh, rugged alpha male with many, many muscles" without any of the historically accurate elements to his character and actions that thwart your feminist side. The latest book is a little on the plot heavy side. Its set up a lot of elements for coming books and goes light on the nookie but it was still good. I'm looking forward to the net already and it won't be out for another year. This is good since Harry Potter will be out this summer- so bittersweet!

In other news... Charlie is working on pulling up. We are sadly lacking in items of the correct height so I suspect many tears of frustration in the near future.

A Query...

I'm not the only one who occasionally thinks "ok, nevermind, this motherhood thing is just too much, I'll be back in a while..." right?

I Might Be A Bad Mother...

1. My kitchen currently smells vaguely of mildew and I haven't cleaned under the microwave for long enough that I am now slightly afraid to lift it and clean under it. I am reasonably confident that the load of kitchen towels and dishrags and a dollop of Clorox will fix the smell. The microwave will have to wait until my MIL is coming to visit...

2. I have never vacuumed or otherwise cleaned my refrigerator coils. I honestly don't even quite know where they are or what they might look like.

3. I am still breastfeeding, in part, to loose those pesky 5 pounds. At times, this is a far stronger motivator for waking for the 3 am feeding than any benefit I might be giving Charlie.

4. I totally let the dogs sniff Charlie and there has been an occasional lick.

5. Today I let Charlie gnaw on the rocking chair's bottom rung (which has never been cleaned to my knowledge) because a) he had worked so damn hard to get to it and b) I really wanted to finish drinking my Spr*te.

6. My version of "Hush, Little Baby" can get decidedly ribald.

7. I wind up sometimes watching the clock and not the child because Charlie can occasionally thwart even the best observer in terms of his "sleepy window" and once it's past there's hell to pay.

8. I occasionally let Charlie gnaw on my empty plastic drink bottles even though they probably contain all manner of evil plasticness.

9. On the rare occasions that Charlie naps, I never actually do anything productive. I always take "me time"- in fact you can tell how well Charlie has been napping in direct relation to how often I post and comment on other blogs.

10. There have been days that I just can't stomach another 45 minutes of screaming baby and rocking chair and give up on the nap and play. I am well aware that this sets a bad precedent and that I will have a cranky baby in another 45 minutes but sometimes I just don't care.

11. I am going to drink caffeine during my next pregnancy. I miss iced tea with an unholy passion. I will keep it in moderation and continue to autoclave my luncheon meat but I will drink me an occasional tea, maybe even a coke!

12. I have, on a number of occasions, lied to Fertility Friend about when I took my temperature. This is, in part, because I have irrational fear that it will suddenly stop accepting my temperatures or send me a nasty note or something for not getting up at the same time every day. I'm usually within 30 minutes or so of when I said I took it but I still feel all scandalous about it. Ok, so, that doesn't actually have anything to do with my parenting. And, no, we're not "trying," I just want to know when I should expect a visit from the Bloody Barron.

Finally...

13. I let Charlie drink juice. Someday I may even let him drink undiluted juice! We walk on the edge!

Riddle Me This...

How is it that my fabric shower curtain that has been hanging in my bathoom, getting steamy on a regular basis for at least a year now, still has the fold marks from when it came out of it's package? Is there no justice in the world?

Breastfeeding Misconceptions

This post is just for me to get this out of my system.

I belong to a mommy message board. The number of women I see give up on breastfeeding from misconceptions appalls me. Breastmilk is the best nutrition for an infant, excluding a very few special cases. If you can, I believe you should breastfeed. At the same time, breastfeeding isn't for everyone and there are lots of things that go into being a good mommy- how you feed your baby is far from the sole, determining factor. There are lots of reasons not to breastfeed. You may have had breast surgery that makes it impossible, you may need to take medications that allow you to be a great mommy but not a great food source, you may need a little more "me time" than breastfeeding allows for to be a great mommy, you may be uber-fertile and desperately need to start birthcontrol pills that can decimate your supply. In short, breastfeeding is good but a happy, healthy mommy is great.

It seems like the main thing I see cited as the reason women quit breast feeding in the first couple of weeks is that they don't make enough milk. It is incredibly rare that that is actually the case, and if it is there are lots of things you can do allow you to continue breastfeeding. First, your breasts work on a supply and demand basis. In order to make make more milk your breasts have to be emptied lots and lots of times in the beginning. This often leads new mothers to think that they aren't making enough milk since their baby is "always" hungry. Newborns will want to nurse every 60-90 minutes- you may get a 3 hour stretch with some babies but you need them to nurse lots and lots in the beginning to help your body establish your milk supply. When the baby nurses you release hormones that tell your body to make more milk. In addition, newborns don't have very big mouths or tummies and neither of you is very efficient at this point so, it takes them a long while to eat a meal. It's not unusual for them to nurse for 45 minutes at a time. It takes about 90 minutes for the baby to finish digesting the breastmilk so, if they are awake, they'll probably notice and be hungry again. You will feel like you have a baby living on your boob for the first few weeks. Even if you don't, there are growth spurts at the 7-10 day mark, 3 weeks and 6 weeks so, at those times the baby will want to nurse even more. Nursing in bed in a sidelying position will help you get sleep. The important thing is that all this nursing in no way indicates that you aren't making enough milk.

Formula fed babies will go longer between feedings. This is because it's harder for babies to digest formula so it takes longer for their tummy to empty out. Formula fed babies may also sleep longer at a stretch because of this. My husband and I refer to this as "better sleep through constipation." However, the benefits of longer sleep need to be weighed against the many benefits of breastfeeding. In addition, you may have to deal with a constipated baby.

Many babies will take an ounce or so of formula or water after a nursing session on the sheer basis of it being offered- not because they are hungry. It's easier to get out of a bottle than the breast. Don't use this as a basis to assume you aren't making enough. If you are worried, keep track of how many wet and poopy diapers the baby is making. You can also go to the pediatrician or lactation consultant's office and weigh the baby before and after a feeding to see where you stand. If there are plenty of wet and poopy diapers and reasonable weight gain (breastfed babies sometimes take 2 weeks to regain their birthweight and that's ok) you are making enough milk. If you aren't making enough milk by these standards and need to supplement then do so with a supplemental nursing system rather than a bottle. They are a pain in the ass to use but allow the baby to get more to eat while still stimulating your breasts to make more milk. Bottle supplementation is often the fastest way to get breastfeeding to totally not work out in the early weeks. Once your supply is established, then monkey with bottles and such. Give it 4-6 weeks and be sure that you are still nursing at least 7-8 times a day. There are also all manner of supplements and herbs you can try.

The first week or so is really hard. Breastfeeding is a grind. You will feel like you will never have a life, eat with both hands, or sleep again. But, it does get better. If you want to quit, do so but please don't say "He was nursing every 2 hours so I just wasn't making enough" because that's actually the way it's supposed to be. Although, I have also entertained the notion that the actual issue is that it's much more socially acceptable to say that you had supply problems than that you just couldn't take having a baby stuck to your chest for another 18 of the next 24 hours which is awful- new mommies have it hard enough without having to make up lies to keep society happy.