Tuesday, December 12, 2006


I read the mommy blogs. I worked child care. I watched Desperate Housewives. I knew about the never peeing alone, going a couple of days without showers, that I would have extensive conversations about my child's poop. However, y'all totally left out some stuff. In the future please be sure to point out the following to the unsuspecting:

1- Finding time to poop will be a challenge. The liberty to poop at will will become a major selling point for going back to work. (unless you are a teacher and you long ago abandoned all hope of ever meeting your personal needs in a timely manner)

2- Eating lunch will be an accomplishment. Eating a lunch which requires utensils will bring a sense of accomplishment equal only to finally getting to poop.

3- The pregnancy books were not actually kidding about belly button pain.

4- You will realize that you really should have put on socks at 9 am. You will finally manage to put on the socks (after earnest effort) at 3 pm.

5- It will take you 3 months to figure out that Carter's size names go completely contrary to your assumptions and that the 3 month size is for babies up to 3 months as opposed to the Gerber stuff which is meant for babies 3-6 months old. Gnashing of teeth will occur.

6- Ugly baby clothes exist. You will receive ugly baby clothing from people who insist on pictures of the baby in it and who have never been introduced to gift receipts. Said clothing will freakishly be both cheap looking and astoundingly indestructible at the same time while fitting for eons.

No comments: