I have a friend who is encroaching on the marriage issue which, of course, calls for me to give her wedding advice. I have offered up a few tidbits. First, the wedding is not really for you. It's for your family. Your opinion will only marginally matter. With that in mind... pick one thing about the wedding you really care about to get your way on. For me it was the dress. Finally, everyone has one moment that truly makes you feel you're married. For me it was the lifting of the veil by my husband followed by the kiss. For others it might be the first dance or the exchange of the rings. Whatever it is, identify it and be sure it makes it into the day.
That same defining moment exists for me as a Mother as well. When Charlie is first waking up from his nap (which he will only consent to have while being held- an improvement from last week when there could be no sleeping ever again for fear he would miss something good) or when the has seen his fill or when he has finished a wiggling extravaganza he will retreat into me. His little body nestles against my arm and chest and his soft cheek rests against my shoulder. He blinks and looks around slowly sometimes simply staring at my shirt. It is a moment where he needs me to offer security and quiet. More importantly, it is a time that he has decided he needs me. It isn't blind instinct, hunger, or reflex that gives him that quiet moment. I am not deciding what he needs because he is unable. In those moments of stillness he is asking and I am giving. There are no thoughts of doubt, no wishes to be doing something else, no wondering if I might get a nap. There is me and my little boy and the knowledge that this shoulder will be his for as long as he may need it. It is in that moment that I am Mommy.
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