Argh!

I think I am beginning to understand why the mommy isn't usually very involved with her shower. It's not really a matter of etiquette, instead it is a matter of keeping sane with all these damn hormones. I didn't want to include registry registry information in the baby shower invitation. I feel like the point of the shower is to come together. The gifts are great but, I didn't want to feel like there was an entrance fee or obligation. My host really wanted to include the information. So, we compromised with an insert that said something along the lines of "although a gift is not necessary, they are registered at Target under the names..." My Mother-in-Law has decreed this to be really weird. I'm just glad she didn't decide it was some sort of communist plot on my part or something. She tends to consistently search for the most negative connotation of anything I do or say so, this is actually a step forward...

The registry is giving me fits as well. There is actually a lot of psychology that goes into creating a "good" registry. I consider that to be one from which you actually get most of what you registered for and that most people won't look at and think "what was she thinking?" (as I did recently upon discovering that the bride had registered for a cherry pitter and handheld lime squeezer as well as lemon squeezer but only 2 sets of towels). I take into consideration the guests and what their expectations are. For our bridal registry I kept in mind that a number of our guests were graduate students and recent college grads with no money and made sure that there were plenty of gifts available in the $20-$40 range. I also knew that we had a hunk of people who were in the southern old guard and would consider the only appropriate wedding gift china or crystal- for them, there was the Dillard's registry. This is much more difficult with baby stuff. For the bridal registry, there were 7 different towel price ranges and I could pick according to our projected shopper, with baby stuff there is usually only the high and low option. For the bridal registry, I was picking items out for people I knew well (myself and my husband) and I was somewhat familiar with the items- I knew I preferred flannel sheets. For the baby registry I am picking items out for someone I've never met, to do tasks I've never done.

Checking on the registry also causes a hissing and a scandal on the message board I frequent. Most of the members view checking the registry as "cheating." I view it as being a responsibility. I check our registry reguarly. I want to be sure that items are still in stock. I make sure that there are still gifts in a range of prices that will appeal to a variety of gift givers. For instance, some people want to buy something cute while some people want to buy books and some want to buy something really practical. I want to make sure that no one gets to the registry only to discover that the only item still available is the $170 stroller. It just seems to me that if someone is going to the trouble of buying off the registry, it's your job to make it user friendly. Of course, it's also a thrill to discover that someone actually bought us the baby monitor...