4 is the loveliest number that you ever knew...

So, I have discovered that my magic number is 4. 4 hours of consecutive sleep is how much I need to stave off the horrid sub-cycling which causes me to have PMS-y cramps for days, iffy skin, mood swings and completely unpredictable hormone related supply dips. 4 hours of sleep is also how much I need to remain on an even emotional keel. Megan stopped doing her consistent 4 hour stretch a bit ago (3 weeks maybe?) and I have felt the effects. Some nights, I get to cobble together some decent sleep with my husband taking her on after about 4 or he might take her for shorter stretches at about 2. But, Charlie is working on his 2 year molars (will the teething ever end?!?) and has a nasty cold to boot so my husband is busy fielding cries from him. Megan sleeps with us reasonably well but can't settle even in the co-sleeper set-up next to our bed. I continue to have strong hopes that as soon as she gets the hang of rolling over, things will improve precipitously but, who knows when she will manage the rolling. She gets precious little practice time during the day as the floor isn't the safest place to be with a toddler for an older brother; even one who is gentle and careful to the utmost of his 2 year old abilities. While I haven't sunk into a full depression, everything is just a little bit harder. I am having trouble finding the creative sparks needed to make dinner, let along write posts or do my favorite crafts. Weathering the toddler tempests and baby related frustrations tests me more than I would like, culminating yesterday when I found myself with my butt in the rain, changing my hysterical toddler's diaper in the tiny space between his seat and the door, listening to my baby wind up to full hungry cry, and singing "Jesus Loves Me," to myself as my last bastion against curling in a ball and swearing. I am confident I will make it through. I made it through 8 dreamless months with Charlie, I can make it through this. I have the full support of my husband and a comprehensive knowledge of danger signs to watch for. I am unafraid of taking medication if I need it. But, what I need most are those 4 damn hours of sleep.